


Her Light

by Kosho



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, F/M, I'm Bad At Tagging, Non-Canon Relationship, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-19 04:12:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8189354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kosho/pseuds/Kosho
Summary: V is drawn to meet with the girl staying in Rika's apartment. He knows it's a terrible idea, and it might impact her safety, but something in him changes.





	1. Hikari, Light in a Dark World.

**Author's Note:**

> Possible spoiler warning. Obviously since this isn't canon (yet?), it will divert away from canon a bit. For instance, for the purposes of this story, he has given up on Rika becoming herself again. 
> 
> Actually, after I began this, I read somewhere that they might be adding both V and Saeran routes, but I can't really confirm that. I hope they do, that would be really nice.

Meeting the mysterious stranger in Rika’s apartment was dangerous. She had only just arrived, barely had time to settle, and he couldn’t say for sure what possessed him to tempt fate just to see what kind of person she really was. No one could know about it, and he knew their was security cameras around the outside of the building. He couldn’t risk going to the door to meet her. V stared at his phone for a moment, glancing to the building with a sigh, about to change his mind. He couldn’t bring an innocent girl any deeper in harm’s way then she already was. He had to know, his curiosity was too strong. With another sigh, he pulled up his contacts. Luciel had provided her number to everyone, including him, and this felt like an abuse of that information. He hit send, waiting, not realizing he had been holding his breath until she answered. 

 

“Hello?” she said quietly. 

 

“Ah, good. You picked up. I know we didn’t get a chance to talk long, this is V. I was wondering...do you want to go somewhere and talk?” he asked, a little nervous. 

 

If it were her, it might seem a little creepy. Especially considering the icy welcome she had received, he shouldn’t even be here, he was already pushing his luck with his absence, and worst still, he couldn’t talk to her about it. She deserved honesty, being dragged unwillingly into this, and yet, she had been nothing if not confident and warm, willing to fill the hole left by Rika with little thought. 

 

“Oh...right now? Is it okay? I mean, if it’s alright, that sounds fine…” she murmured. 

 

She had a pleasant voice, sweet, gentle. Even though it must have been an odd request, and though he was a stranger to her, she was kind about it. 

 

“Yes, it’s fine. No one can know where the apartment is, but it’s fine for you to come with me for a little while.” he assured her. 

 

If nothing else, he could keep her safe. He couldn’t see very well, but enough for now that he should be able to see anything suspicious. V had been making excuses for a long while, and so if the wrong person did see, perhaps he could make another as to why he was with her. 

 

“Alright. Should I meet you somewhere?” she asked. 

 

“Actually, I’m not far. Come on out, I’m about a block away. I’m sorry I can’t go inside to meet you, but it’s better this way.” he sighed. 

 

He wanted to see the apartment, it was true, but it was Rika’s and even now, he wanted to respect her privacy. The need to see what she looked like, to know what kind of person she was was only getting stronger, welling up inside him. He heard an elevator in the background, and then a door. She was coming out. He couldn’t make out her features from this far away, only basics, simply dressed, long black hair, a bit pale, almost like a porcelain doll from this distance. 

 

“Look to your left, I’m not far.” he guided her. 

 

She was drawing closer, her expression almost blank as she glanced around. V raised a hand, and she came towards him. Up close, he was able to see a bit more, clear, bright eyes, the color of amber, her lips a soft pink, though he couldn’t see any makeup. Perhaps she didn’t wear any? From an artistic perspective, she was quite attractive, her eyes wide as she looked at him, almost with wonder. He smiled warmly, hanging up the phone, nodding his head a little. 

 

“Do you like coffee? There’s a shop not far. Since I’ve troubled you like this, I’ll buy.” he said. 

 

Unsure what to say, she nodded, mirroring his smile, unconsciously following his pace, though she took two steps for each of his single ones. 

 

“Is V your real name?” she wondered quietly. 

 

He shook his head, unsure why he told her after he said it. It was important he take her safety into consideration, and even that much could be a problem. “Jihyun Kim. What about you? I only knew the username, but I’m not sure if that’s your actual name.” 

 

Her eyes fell to the cane he carried, and he could tell she was curious, though she said nothing about it. She likely sensed that it was something he didn’t want to talk about, at least, not now. Perhaps he might tell her another time. Why was he thinking about another time, this was already risky, and he couldn’t even be sure it would go well, much less if he could get out again to see her, if he even wanted to.

 

“Hikari Fujiwara.” she replied simply. 

 

He reached for the door when the arrived, holding it for her to let her go first. Conversation ceased for a time until they got their order and found a seat, away from the others in the shop. She fell silent, and it looked like she was contemplating something meaningful, her chin resting on her palm as she stared out the window, her eyes drawn to the clouds. She smiled joyfully, pointing up then, looking his way. 

 

“Look, that one is a bunny!” she exclaimed. 

 

He leaned slightly to look where she pointed, chuckling quietly. He didn’t need any more information to understand she was a gentle person, filled with innocence. 

 

“Haha. So it is, it’s quite fluffy.” he said. 

 

Sweeping his hand through his hair, he leaned back against the cushioned seat, the vinyl creaking audibly as he did. Her attention was called to him for a moment, before she reached for the cup in front of her, bringing it up, watching the way she blew on it before taking a sip. The silence seemed a little uncomfortable for her, tipping her head, trying to get a feel for the person across from her. 

 

“Hm. So...you’re a photographer? I heard that anyway. How old are you?” she asked, trying to settle on a topic. 

 

“That’s true. I enjoy taking pictures, do you...I mean, is that something you like?” he realized it was harder than he imagined to find something to talk about. “ I’m 27.” 

 

It was strange for her to think such things, but the more she looked at him, the more she noticed. He was handsome, and he had such a pleasant voice, bearing a calmness about him that was really relaxing. 

 

“I do, yes. I love art in all forms. A week ago, I visited a gallery, it was wonderful.” she sighed, losing herself in the memory for a moment. Though he didn’t ask, she shared it anyway. “Oh. Ahh, I’m 19, I’ll be 20 in 6 days, actually.” 

 

That was a shame. She had to be stuck in the apartment, and while he couldn’t say with any certainty if she had family or friends, to not be able to have people over for her birthday was sad. It would be a lonely day for her, wouldn’t it? Even if by then she had grown close to any of the other members, even they wouldn’t be allowed to come visit. He regretted the need for secrecy, if only for a moment. 

 

“I see. I’m sure you had a lot of fun.” he said. 

 

Even as lonely as it must be to be isolated in a strange apartment, she didn’t let any hint slip, her smile had failed to falter even for a moment, and there was a certain radiant warmth to her. It was the kind of warmth he used to feel from Rika before she changed, the kind he longed for. It was unfortunate he hadn’t brought his camera, if nothing else, he would have enjoyed capturing that moment. It was hardly the same, and of course, it was also dangerous, but as long as no one took his phone from him, it would be okay, right? His fingers danced slowly over the edge of the phone, exhaling slowly as he considered it. He already imposed on her far too much, but he had a feeling she would be agreeable anyway. 

 

“If...it’s not too much to ask, do you mind if I take your picture?” he asked quietly. 

 

He expected she would refuse, maybe even end the conversation there, and it actually was a surprise when she nodded slowly. 

 

“If you really think you want to, that’s alright.” she said. 

 

Regretting that his phone wouldn’t capture it as well as his camera could, he steadied it anyway, waiting for just the right moment, biting back a laugh at the way she began to blush, maybe his method was a little embarrassing, but it added something more. She was cute, and the flush to her cheeks amplified the feeling of innocence she had about her. Now was the time, his finger brushing the button, the sound the only indicator he had taken it. Hikari leaned across the table, her eyes wide with interest. Laughing then, he turned it to her to let her see, wondering when the last time he had felt this content was. He rarely smiled these days, much less had any reason to laugh, and yet, being around her was so easy, it felt natural. 

 

“Wow, even for just a phone, this is really good!” she praised him. “I hope I get the chance to see more of your pictures.” 

 

It hurt a little to hear that, knowing he had so little time to take any more. Even so, was there really a chance he could meet her again? If he could sneak away again, maybe he could fulfill that much for her. He frowned as reality hit him full force, he was supposed to be busy right now, and he couldn’t risk the other members hearing he had visited her like this. He reached out to her, resting his hand on hers, trying to call her attention to him completely, even though it was far too intimate a gesture and could make her uneasy.

 

“Could you...do me a favor?” he asked. 

 

Her eyes flicked from his hand to his face, nodding slowly. “Of course, what can I do?” 

 

Strange that she was so agreeable, considering that helpful nature was what got her into this in the first place. He couldn’t say for sure, but based solely on what she had said in the chat, she hadn’t really questioned it too much, glad to be useful in some way. Truly a good person, and she would do wonders for the RFA, he imagined it wouldn’t be a challenge at all for her to round up many fine guests. 

 

“If you could keep this between us? Truthfully, I should have left already, and if the others found out I was still here, it could be problematic. I really don’t like having to keep anything from them, and especially involving you in those secrets, it’s not fair to you. I really am so sorry.” he explained with a gentle sigh. 

 

“Oh...I think I understand. I won’t say anything, you can trust me.” she said. 

 

Her cheeks turned a soft rosy pink, and he couldn’t really understand it, until he realized he was still holding her hand under his. He should have pulled away, and yet, it was almost as if he couldn’t. Looking at the clock on his phone, he reluctantly broke the contact from her, finishing his coffee. 

 

“I really should get going. Thank you for meeting me like this, I’m sorry to leave so suddenly.” he apologized again, moving to stand. 

 

Hikari took a small sip, tilting her head as she watched him. “Will I see you again?” 

 

He tensed at the question, as nice as it felt. He really didn’t want to drag her any deeper into this than he already had. Glancing over his shoulder, he found himself lost in her eyes for just a second, answering before he really thought about what he meant to say.

 

“If that’s what you want, I’d be happy to see you again.” he told her. 

 

She saw him off cheerfully, and he made his way out in a polite hurry. His thoughts swam through his mind quickly, hard to isolate them. Why did he want to see her again, this was the first --and should have been the last-- time he had seen her. At the least, he would have seen her again at the party, but he couldn’t help it, even as he couldn’t make sense of it. He wanted to know more about her, everything if she would tell him. It felt the same as when he first met Rika, but maybe he was only complicating things. She was no longer the same person he had once loved, even though he swore to her that he would love her no matter what, had loved her despite everything. So why was his heart racing now, and for a girl he had only just met? 


	2. Another Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> V spends a day out with Hikari.

Getting out was difficult. He had arranged enough time to accomplish what he wanted, but as important as this trip was to him, he couldn’t shake his head clear. Sighing, he pulled out his phone, hesitant in his slow movements, he meant to arrange his travel plans, but like his fingers were possessed, he opened his gallery, frowning a little as he looked at the picture. Thinking of her like this wasn’t his normal behavior, few people had influenced him like this, and he had no reason to think about her at all, and yet, it felt like the longer he looked at her picture, the deeper she embedded herself in his mind. 

 

“Will I see you again?” her softly spoken words rang in his ears. 

 

So soon after they had parted ways, it was unreasonable to invite her out again, right? He had to consider what the purpose of this was, it was as much for himself as it was to do  _ something _ to contribute to the party, but then if his intentions were so pure, why was he allowing himself to get distracted from it? Pressing his hand to his brow, he sighed in frustration, this wasn’t going to resolve itself, and maybe if he saw her again, he could get her out of his head so he could focus. Unless...well, it was possible there was a way to accomplish both, but who could say if she would even agree, anyway. What reason did he have to be interested in the first place, she was lovely, sure, but beauty wasn’t exactly enough to make him think of someone so much. Not knowing much about her could have been a big factor, she was a mystery, one he was curious about enough to want to unravel. There was definitely more to it though, there had to be. 

 

He went to his phone, dialing her number without giving himself enough time to reconsider it. The line connected after a moment, taken aback by her pleasant greeting, moreso that she had bypassed the name he was most used to hearing. 

 

“Jihyun, I wondered if you might call.” she said pleasantly. 

 

She was waiting for him to call? Why though, he never indicated he was planning on it, and to be honest, he hadn’t entirely been sure if he would either. It was uncomfortable, but not unpleasant, in fact, it was kind of nice to hear, at least, a little. 

 

“Were you waiting for me, Hikari?” he asked, no hint of surprise in his voice. 

 

“Waiting sounds so arrogant.” she laughed “More like, I was hoping, I think…” 

 

There was a tone of uncertainty in her words, as if she too wasn’t quite sure why she felt that way, at least he wasn’t alone in that much. Hikari hoped he would call, but he couldn’t say if he felt happy about that or not. His heart had been hard to read for a very long time, and he felt like he could no longer understand it. 

 

“Is that so? Well, I’m glad I called then.” he said, though he had a bit of doubt about that. “I thought...maybe you’d like to meet up again?” 

 

Without missing a beat, she answered, and based only on how she sounded, he imagined she was smiling again, like he had somehow made her happy. 

 

“Of course. Except…” she paused. “Well, I don’t know much about photography, but I had some places I wanted to show you in exchange for the coffee. Maybe it will help?” 

 

She was really thinking of him after all. Even he couldn’t say if the places she wanted to share with him would be inspiring, but it was better to be prepared than to write them off and regret it later. What kind of places would a girl like her choose? It was somewhat exciting to think of the possibilities, trying to figure her out like a puzzle. 

 

“Alright. Since I can’t come pick you up, where would you like to meet?” he asked. 

 

The cafe was close by, but that wasn’t where she meant to take him. Yet, she wasn’t very familiar with the area around the apartment, and that seemed to be the best option. “How about where we went before? It’s easy for me to find. I’ll make sure I know the best directions before you get here.” 

 

“Okay, I’ll see you soon then. Good bye.” he said. 

 

Hanging up, he put his phone away, still wondering if he did the right thing by agreeing to meet with her again. At the end of the day, she was still in danger, and seeing her again might only make that worse. He already announced his intent to go on a trip in the messenger, and if someone happened to see him, that could be trouble too, he trusted her to not say anything about it, and so far, she had kept her word, but there was so much to consider. Brushing his hair from his face, he grabbed up his camera, heading for the shop. 

 

He expected her to be a little late, so it was actually surprising to see her waiting there. She looked different today, a small, red hairpin fixing her hair to the side, dressed plainly in a red blouse with a frilled collar and some kind of black shorts with straps over the shoulders. It suited her, although he admitted guiltily to himself he had been hoping to see her in a dress. Mostly because it matched the way she looked in his mind, but it could have been there was another reason, it felt like there was. 

 

“Ready? Oh! Did you want something to eat or drink while we’re here? It might be a little bit before we get the chance to stop again.” she told him. 

 

Smiling warmly, he shook his head, unsure where they were going. “I’m fine, did you have breakfast? I don’t mind waiting if you wanted to get something.” 

 

She shrugged, almost like she wasn’t sure either. “I ate, I made pancakes.” 

 

Her hand reached out, but stopped, falling back to her side like she had meant to reach for his arm, but thought better of it. Clearly she was just as lost as he was as to what to do in this kind of situation, instead, she pointed to a bench a short way down the sidewalk. He followed her lead, sitting quietly next to her until a bus pulled up. She hurried to stand, rummaging through her pocket to pay for the tickets faster than he could keep up with, slowly boarding with her. She glanced over to him, blushing when she noticed he was watching her, nervously sweeping her hair back, though she smiled still. 

 

“I’m sorry. I was a bit too eager. I didn’t really have time to do anything special, I’m sorry if my hair's a mess.” she said. 

 

This what what she considered a mess? He couldn’t tell. It looked just fine to him. The bus turned a sharp curve that jolted her to his chest at that moment. She glanced up at him, her cheeks flaring a deep red, brighter than he had seen. She moved away slowly, her attention drawn out the window as she mumbled a quiet apology. 

 

“Haha… you can’t really control these things. Don’t worry about it.” he waved it off. 

 

Even though he said that, with his slowly failing sight, he couldn’t help but notice the scent of honeysuckle in her hair, it was nice. He definitely shouldn’t be noticing things like that, he shouldn’t think of anything that put him any closer to her than they already were. It was pushing it just coming out with her again. Even so, he couldn’t resist looking at her once more, her elbow propped on the vibrating window, head resting on her palm, and for a moment, she felt like she was slipping further away from him than the few inches between them should have. It wasn’t simply the sky she was watching, it had the feel like she was staring into the past, to a distant memory of some place that wasn’t here. He cursed in his head, reaching out slowly, his fingers lightly resting on her shoulder, just for a second. 

 

“Miss Fujiwara, are you alright?” he asked, hoping the formality would help. 

 

As if snapping out of a trance, she jumped, pulling her gaze from the window back to him. “I’m fine, I was just thinking.” 

 

“If I might ask, what was it?” he wondered, frustrated by his genuine interest. 

 

Her smile faltered, so quickly he thought he imagined it, quickly replaced once more. “There’s more to this story than I was told, I know that.” She stopped long enough to sit fully in the seat, her small hands delicately folded at her lap. “You must know I’ve never heard of Rika before now, I’ve never met her. There’s no way I was chosen to replace her for this. You covered for me, and I’m not sure why. For all you knew, I could be very dangerous. And...I am.” 

 

Her? Dangerous? He doubted that. A small, nearly fragile looking girl like her. A girl whose smile held all the warmth and brilliance of a bright summer afternoon, who was far too kind and innocent? How could she possibly be dangerous, it wasn’t possible. More than the reason she would say something so clearly untrue, he wanted to know how she could possibly be so cheerful all the time.

 

“How is it you can smile so much? Most people...they’re lost in their own problems, and smiling is too painful, too hard…” he asked. 

 

Her fingers twitched visibly, but she didn’t seem to notice, or if she did, it didn’t concern her enough to bother with it. Her eyes, however, reflected a tiny glint of sadness despite that. “You really want to know?” 

 

He couldn’t manage the words, only nodding once. What if the reason was something even he couldn’t understand, it would only serve to distance her too much. He needed to keep her close to keep her safe, but not too close so he wouldn’t be the one to put her in harm’s way. 

 

“It’s because I could die at any time. I can’t help but smile when I know that.” she admitted. “I guess that’s true for anyone though, isn’t it?” 

 

“Why?” the only word that came to mind. 

 

She brought a hand to her hair, stopping at the side of her head, shrugging again. “I was injured. If I don’t get it fixed, it’s like a time bomb.” 

 

“So why not just get it fixed? Is it scary for you?” he wondered. 

 

“It’s...hard to explain.” she murmured. 

 

The bus lurched to a stop, and she used that to take the focus off of herself. “Looks like we’re here, come on!” 

 

Without thinking, she reached for his hand, guiding him off the bus, skillfully weaving through the people walking through the doors. Keeping up with her energetic pace meant he didn’t have enough time to look where they were. The lighting on the inside wasn’t what he was used to, shadows and light augmented with a watery hue, small glints of light cutting through. Following it, the reason was apparent immediately, a school of fish passing by. They were in an aquarium? It wasn’t a bad idea, only one he hadn’t quite expected. She noticed his hand idly fidgeting with his camera, tilting her head to the side.

 

“Uh...I can hold your cane for you if you want.” she offered. 

 

Well, it wasn’t like she was about to run away with it. Besides, she wasn’t the kind of person who would leave him stranded here, he could sense that much. Giving it a second thought, he reluctantly handed it over, watching her, and amused grin tugging at his lips. She held it like it was the most valuable thing she had ever touched, as if it was a treasure she had to protect. It was sweet, but it was sturdy and it would surely take more than her gentle hold to damage it. Her eyes said everything her silence didn’t. He only looked for a few seconds, but it was enough to tell, she was awed, like she was watching a masterpiece in the works. He wasn’t sure if it was actually that impressive, all he was doing was waiting for just the right moment, he had a sense about these things too, knowing the correct timing, it was natural for him. Their was a soft click right as a colorful school of fish swam by, slow enough for him to capture. 

 

She was silent, patient, waiting quietly off to the side while he wandered around to other tanks, taking a few more pictures as he went. So quiet in fact, that he suddenly became concerned she might have gotten separated from him, searching the groups for her, a small tingle of panic spreading through him until he noticed her, having switched tanks. She leaned in, beaming brightly, focused on a fish he couldn’t identify. It swam back and forth in front of her like it was showing off. He didn’t want to interrupt the scene in front of him, raising the camera once more, with her in his sights, snapping a picture. It wasn’t that he was particularly fond of her, though even he couldn’t deny a mild interest, whatever it might be. Hikari was a fine subject, her gestures and expressions warm, and it reminded him again of Rika in the beginning. Thinking that though, even at her best, she was really nothing like her, not truly, the feeling was the same, but she herself was very different, alien almost. In time, they left the aquarium, into a deeper, inner court, the roof opened since the day was nice. This place might have been magical, at least it carried that sensation, a lush garden on the inside, filled with flowers even he had never seen among the familiar ones. She was taking a ‘nature’ approach to this date, wasn’t she? Wait, why did he think ‘date’? This wasn’t like that, it was just an outing, plain and simple. Either way, curiosity was begging the question be asked. 

 

“Hey...Hikari.” he called for her.

 

“Hm? Something wrong?” she asked, her eyes flicking away. 

 

“How did you come up with this for an idea?’ he questioned. 

 

“Oh...that. Well, I don’t know your normal work, but Zen shared a picture he says you took, a flower. I thought, maybe this was something you’d enjoy.” she said offhandedly, like she hadn’t lent it much thought at all. 

 

“I am having fun.” he said truthfully. 

 

Repeating his earlier routine, he strolled the gardens massive expanse, taking pictures as the inspiration hit. He should have been somewhere far away already, and yet, this wasn’t bad, he was still accomplishing what he meant to get done, already dozens of pictures taken, and with her around, he felt relaxed for the first time in awhile. He was starting to feel like he made the right decision after all, though it still troubled him that she had been on his mind in the first place. Even now, he had thought Rika was the only girl who would ever take up space in his head, but maybe her increasingly alarming behavior was slowly pushing him away, despite swearing he’d always love her. 

 

“Jihyun...are you feeling well? You don’t look so good…” she asked, a hand on his arm.

 

God, now he had concerned her too, he hated the idea of making her smile disappear, and especially because of him. He forced a smile, putting Rika out of his thoughts, resting a hand over hers comfortingly. 

 

“I’m fine. Why don’t we take a break, a little rest might not be a bad idea.” he sighed. 

 

Nodding quickly, she walked to a nearby bench with him, helping him to sit. It was sweet, but it made him feel fragile. He patted her head gently, trying to reassure her that he really was alright so she wouldn’t worry. She handed him his cane back finally, letting go of his arm, the warmth of her skin fading fast, leaving an empty feeling he hadn’t anticipated. She rose from the bench, a finger to her lips, one eye closed in thought. 

 

“Stay here, I’ll be right back, okay?” she told him. 

 

He chuckled quietly, nodding. “Alright then, be safe.” 

 

She wouldn’t be gone very long, surely, but still, he wanted her to return safely. It worried him to think of the possibilities, mostly what would happen if ‘he’ had somehow found them. Rika had him twisted unrecognizably, and he would stop at nothing to take her, not to mention what might happen if she resisted. A dark thought, but a real threat regardless. A girl like her, she said she was dangerous, but her body betrayed her, as nice as she was, she didn’t seem capable of putting up a fight. There was a story there, and he wanted to know what made her see herself that way, but he had a feeling she didn’t really want to talk about it, based on her reluctance to go in detail about her injury. It was possible, based on what he had observed that she just didn’t want to trouble him with her problems, she appeared to be more aware than he imagined. 

 

She came back after a short time, her steps slow and careful, carrying a tray of food. She placed it down between them, relieved that she hadn’t dropped it on the way. 

 

“Ahh...I probably should have asked, I don’t even know if this is something you like or not, but I figured maybe you needed something, and I was getting a little hungry too... “ she mumbled like she was making an excuse. 

 

“This is fine, thank you. You worry so much, don’t you?” he questioned. 

 

“Maybe worry isn’t the right word. I’ve been told I don’t feel, so I’m not even sure I can worry.” she said, her frown returning briefly. 

 

He had done it again, made her frown. Eager to remedy that, he reached for a fry, poking it against her lips, pleased when she took it. As if realizing how he felt, she grinned sheepishly, her face flushing shyly. That was his favorite of her expressions, he thought, when she was blushing, and as much as he wanted to feel differently, he wanted to see more of it...

 


	3. Hikari's Apology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A storm makes it impossible to part company for the night, but Hikari has a solution. V learns more about her, and reveals he thinks he might feel something for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, I feel mixed about this chapter. Picture at the end now!

Hikari stared up at the sky through the open roof, tearing her focus away after a time, turning back to him.

 

“If you could do anything in the world, what would you choose?” he asked her.

 

Anything? That was an odd question. “If I could do anything, I guess I’d have to say I want to do something useful to others.”

 

That was an answer he thought to expect from her, but it was vague, he wanted more. “Like what? I really want to know.”

 

She shrugged hopelessly, searching her thoughts for an answer. It was hard to think so far ahead when she wasn’t sure if it was even possible. There were a lot of things that _could_ be useful, but what was the thing that pulled her heart the most. “I think I’d like to be a teacher.”

 

Her words were so quiet he had to lean in to be sure he heard her correctly. He lightly prodded her cheek, trying to get her to relax. “Really? Do you like children?”

 

Did she? It was something she hadn’t really considered, it just felt nice to say she wanted to help shape the future like that. It was true, but at the same time, she had never seriously thought about that either. “I think I do.”

 

It felt like he was beginning to understand her, at least a bit. The fuzzy lines that were Hikari were darkening slowly, the picture becoming clearer. “So, I imagine that you want to marry someday, maybe have some of your own?”

 

That wasn’t a question relating to anything he wanted, just trying to figure her out further. He noticed her fidgeting, idly pressing her fingers together, like it made her anxious. “Well, if I’m honest, I at least wanted to marry, but even that may be asking too much.”

 

Right, she mentioned she wasn’t sure how long she would live. Perhaps it was uncomfortable to talk about the future so easily. He wished he could take it back, forget that he ever brought it up.

 

Her eyes focused on his, the light glimmering, her eyes like liquid gold for the few moments before the clouds obscured the rays, intriguing. She reached out, but again, stopped herself, thinking better of it. There was something on her mind, but she didn’t want to bring it up, without knowing what it was, there was no way to know why. A sound caught her attention, and she looked up, noticing the roof was closing slowly, sighing.

 

“I suppose that means it’s closing now. Maybe we should return to the bus stop…” she said, moving to stand.

 

V stood as well, following her back towards the front of the building, out front to the bench, where they sat once more. She pulled out her phone, checking the time to figure out how long it would be before the bus came back, her eyes widening, almost alarmed.

 

“Is something wrong?” he asked.

She bit her lip, glancing up at the sky again before returning to the phone. “This isn’t good...there’s an emergency alert, there’s a bad storm coming in. Bad enough that even the cabs are stopped for now…”

 

He saw tears welling up in her eyes, distressed by the news. It hurt to see her like this, it felt like someone had just told her that the world was ending, and she had a thousand regrets. There was nothing to be done about it, she couldn’t control the weather, and while it was a delay he didn’t find pleasant, there wasn’t a single thing he could do to change it. If even the cabs had stopped, that likely meant that flights were canceled anyway, and even if not, he hadn’t made the arrangements. Berating himself silently, he tipped her chin up, brushing his thumb under her eyes, offering her a gentle smile.

 

“Cheer up, this isn’t your fault.” he assured her.

 

True, it wasn’t, but that posed a unique problem. It was much too far to walk back, and if the storm was as bad as it was made out to be, it was better not to, but this far, the shelter options were limited. As if reading his mind, she unlocked her phone, tapping away at the numbers.

 

“I’m sorry...I’ll make this up to you…” she mumbled.

 

There was nothing to make up for, but he had to admit he was mildly interested to know what she was doing, or trying to do. Her eyes shifted back to him, turning towards the ground when whoever she had called picked up.

 

“Obasan…” she began, speaking so quickly, he couldn’t pick up on much of the conversation, just bits and pieces. “Ah? Okay... see you soon then…”

 

She hung up, staring at the now black screen for a short time before she pocketed it again, alarmed when a few stray drops splashed against her skin. It was freezing cold, and heralded the promised storm, they had to get out of it quickly.

 

“Uhm...it’s just a short walk, but if you don’t mind, my aunt will make a room for us to stay. “ realizing it could be misunderstood, she raised her hands, shaking her head slowly. “Oh! There’s two beds, so it won’t be awkward…” her voice lowered, that sugary pink returning to her cheeks. “I hope…”

 

“I’m not sure of the way, if it’s alright, could you lead? Don’t worry about it, two beds will be fine, it’ll be nice to get out of the rain before it gets worse.” he said, trying to comfort her.

 

He was mildly concerned. It was unlikely, but if someone had come looking for him, his name would likely be somewhere where it could be found, a trail leading back to her. More than himself, he worried for her, as with any of the RFA members, he maintained he would even give his life if it would help, but that man though, there wasn’t much he could do against him. The rain began to pour down heavily, so much that just the few minute walk had left them soaked to the skin, rushing to the main door. Upon entering, a woman looked up at her, tossing her a key.

 

“Jesus, Hiki, you’re dripping all over the place. Bah, this is why I told you no dogs before, you’re enough!” she said, laughing. Though she stopped, turning her attention to him then, her eyes narrowing suspiciously. “Who’s your friend?”

 

He opened his mouth to speak, but she quickly interjected. “Ah, we were out at the aquarium for a lesson. He’s teaching me photography, this is Mr. Shuichi Nakahara.”

 

Her sharp glare fell to the camera around his neck, making a sound like she hadn’t initially believed the story, but was convinced. “I see. Well, since this is a favor for you, you’re responsible for dinner tonight. Tonight is unagi night, so make it good. You’re at the end of the hall.”

 

She bowed respectfully, waving him to follow, unlocking the door when they reached it. He hadn’t expected much, but was actually surprised, it was quite an elegant room. The windows were large, spattered with raindrops racing down the glass, and the beds larger than most inn rooms. Hikari slid her shoes off at the door, and he mirrored her actions, opting to stand to avoid splashing water on the blanket. As if sensing the mood, she pulled out her hairpin, shaking her long locks free of excess water.

 

“That’s my aunt, Michi. She...well, she raised me. I...uh, I live here. Not this room, but there’s a house attached at the back, that’s where I usually live.” she tried to explain.

 

“Your aunt? What about your parents?” he wondered.

 

She seized up at the mention, and nothing escaped his notice, her eyes widened, her pupils dangerously small like the mention had gravely upset her. She picked obsessively at her sleeve, looking away from him. No good, she was shutting down, pulling away, it was a careless choice. Her lips parted, and her breath was audible even this far apart, but she took a deep breath, hanging her head guiltily.

 

“My mother died bringing me into this world. Father went mad with grief.” she said firmly.

 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I should never have mentioned it…” he apologized.

 

Her hand fell to a thin, but empty vase on the desk, her fingers brushing the edge. “No, I would rather be honest, at least with you. I feel like even with things you can’t say, even if I keep secrets for you, I think I can trust you…”

 

Why did it hurt to hear her say that? It was true, he wouldn’t intentionally hurt her, but if she had any idea what kind of things he kept from her, for the sake of protecting her, she would never have said such a thing. “I appreciate it…”

 

“Remember, I told you I could die at any time?” she hinted.

 

V nodded, part of him curious for an explanation, part of him not wanting to hear, concerned the story might even be more upsetting than he was prepared for.

 

“Father blamed me for killing her. Said only a demon would murder someone so precious. One night, I broke her frame on accident, and he said I was trying to erase her memory. He took a bookend off the shelf, a marble tree, at least, that’s what I think it was...He beat me with it, said he could make up for my sin by erasing my existence, but he couldn’t finish what he started. He left me at the hospital and told Michi to pick me up if I survived.” she stopped, visibly shaking, straining to hold back tears. “They fixed me up as best as they could, but I found out later that there’s a small piece of bone in my head, if it moves around even a little, it could kill me.”

 

It was too much, too gruesome for such a warm person. She had an abundance of kindness, didn’t seem to think selfishly at all, and seeing her look so hurt was a sight that could make even a divine being weep in sorrow. It was as if all light had been swallowed up by dark clouds.

 

“You asked why I don’t get it fixed. Two reasons. I’m not sure I deserve it, and...even if I felt like I did, I’m afraid.” she admitted.

 

Before he could respond, there was a knock at the door. Hikari hastily wiped at her eyes, forcing a smile as she opened it. Michi stood in the hall, handing her a stack of folded clothes, gesturing towards him with her head. “Your friend got wet too, right? He looks about Nori’s size, so I brought something dry for him too. See you in the kitchen in a bit.”

 

She excused herself with a courteous bow, her shuffling steps echoing down the hall. Hikari dismissed herself as well, the bathroom door closing slowly. Unsure how long he had, he quickly undressed, trying on the clothes provided for him. He tugged the front edges closed, eyeing the tie curiously, doing his best to figure it out. She came back out, blinking once, seeing his confusion. She sighed, walking up behind him, her small hands crossing his waist.

 

“Forgive my reach, but this is wrong. Please hold the front closed, I’ll help you.” she instructed him.

 

As she said, he held it closed, watching it unravel once more before she began to retie it, tighter this time, making adjustments as she went. Once it was secure, her hands crept higher, pulling at the taut fabric at his chest, loosening it a little. “That’s better. It can be a little confusing at first…”

 

Confusing was right, everywhere she touched, it felt like she left fire on his skin, but more impressive still was how quickly she had managed what he could only clumsily attempt. Turning to face her, his breath caught, surprised by how she looked. It was a simple pink robe, adorned with flowers and a teal sash that was at odds with the pattern, but felt right, like it was a fitting combination. Suddenly conscious of herself, she looked down, shifting side to side as if looking for something that was out of place.

 

“I like it. It looks really cute on you.” he praised honestly.

 

She brought her hands to her mouth, turning rosy again. It was almost as if his sincere comments were embarrassing to hear. Her head turned, staring at the door.

 

“Th...thank you. Ah. I have to go prepare dinner now. If you like you can stay here, or if you prefer, you can join me?” she offered.

 

He nodded, following her slowly, a sudden, loud clap of thunder striking not far off interrupting. She cringed, stepping towards him again, embracing him tightly, burying her face in his chest with a whimper. It startled him, but it was clear she was frightened by the sound. Cursing silently, he laid an arm across her shoulders, patting her comfortingly, her eyes nervously looking up to him.

 

“God, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to…’ she sighed. “You must think I’m such a baby…”

 

Everyone had a weakness, it just seemed like hers was thunder. That or loud noises in general. Recalling her story, it made a strange kind of sense, it might have reminded her of what happened. “It’s alright, if it makes you feel safer, I’ll hold you until you feel better, alright?”

 

He tightened his grip in emphasis, squeezing her gently. She frowned, her shoulders relaxing slowly. “Why? Why are you being so nice to someone like me? You’re not...like other people…”

 

V shrugged then, unable to even come up with that reason for himself. There was an idea, of course, but it felt strange to think of it, and when it slipped out all too honestly, it was mortifying, something he had been unprepared to admit at all, let alone to her.

 

“Why?...I think that maybe I like you.” he sighed.

 

There was a knock at the door again, and she hesitantly let go of him, turning to leave, despite everything, V followed not far behind her. She was glad for the company, but at the same time, she didn’t understand how anyone could like her, especially not after hearing what she had done. Even if he thought they had a future, her hands had been stained with blood since her birth, and she couldn’t promise a long, happy life, not when she wasn’t even sure if either of those were possible. Awfully presumptuous though, imagining he wanted anything out of this, besides just saying he was maybe, possibly, a little interested. Regardless, if she didn’t want to hear a lecture, she had to turn her mind towards the task of preparing the eels, and not just that, it would also be rice and miso soup, if she was lucky, if not, there might even be a few more dishes she had to make. If nothing else, he’d be the first person who wasn’t family that she would get to cook for, so she wished silently that she wouldn’t mess it up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Picture created with Rinmarugames, I don't own the game or the picture, just the character.


	4. Changing Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Realizing his trip won't go as planned, V decides to change his plans a little

V woke up to the sound of the door, glancing out the window, rain was still pouring heavily. Hikari carefully set a tray down on the table, rubbing at her eyes with a quiet yawn. 

 

“You didn’t sleep well?” he asked. 

 

“Oh! Good morning, Ji--Shuichi…” she mumbled, worried someone might somehow overhear. “I slept alright, but I had to wake up earlier than I prefer. I helped with breakfast this morning, so I brought some back. It’s tamagoyaki, tea and rice, I hope that’s alright…” 

 

Moving to sit up, he stood slowly, coming over to help her with the heavy looking wooden tray. “That’s fine. I can take it from here, if you wanted to sleep longer?” 

 

She waved her hands in front of herself slowly. “N-no, that’s fine. I don’t mind missing a little sleep if I’m doing something good. Living here was always like this, truthfully, I’m glad that I got a break from it.” 

 

Her laughter was nervous, but for the first time since the night before, he saw her smiling genuinely, contented to see she had put it out of her mind. “What do you do besides cook? I’m guessing you’re not still a student?” 

 

She handed him his breakfast, taking a seat at the table to enjoy hers as well, now that there was a break to do so. “No, I haven’t thought much about going to a university yet either. Mostly cooking, and because my aunt is a huge pusher of tradition, I sometimes take lessons in flower arrangement or calligraphy. Mostly I have fun with everything I do. Even if I don’t completely like something, I make sure to put passion in all that I do, so I get the best results, and I can be proud.” 

 

“I’ve been keeping an eye on your progress for the RFA from time to time, and I can tell you really do put in a lot of effort. I can sense that you’re going to do a wonderful job.” he praised. 

 

Her hand came to her arm, grasping it loosely like she might be nervous to hear such a thing. After hearing how awful she was for so long, he suspected it was hard to hear those words from anyone, not when she couldn’t believe them herself. Like him, she had cracks in her heart, only not the same kind as his. Observing her in silence, he felt compelled to speak again. 

 

“You are...so bright, sometimes it’s hard to look at you.” he told her. 

 

The corners of her lips rose a little higher then, covering her mouth as she giggled about it. “I’m not like a second sun, I prefer to think...if I was anything, I’d be the moon.” 

 

His eyebrows arched up at that. Interesting, he had never heard someone say such a thing, and he wanted to hear her reasoning. “Why the moon?”

 

She paused, leaning back in her seat, her fingertips dancing along the gold painted pattern crawling along the cup, thinking it over before answering. “A lot of people, they say things like ‘warm, bright, glowing’ like they’re comparing someone to the sun, but they forget. The sun is not always so gentle, it can burn and destroy, and melt. They say looking for too long can hurt your eyes too. The moon, even during the day, you can always see it, right there, watching. It’s gentle, you can stare forever and never get hurt from it. It may not be as warm, but there is peace in it. I think that’s why, I’d rather be the moon.” 

 

That was an unusually profound response, honestly, based on how happy just watching clouds had made her, he expected it to be something about the rabbit in the moon. She made a good argument though, while the sun was warmer, the moon was ultimately a kinder thing. His hidden gaze shifted to the window, bringing a hand to his chin, ignoring his food for just a little bit. “It’s still really coming down, isn’t it?’ 

 

She leaned back, grabbing her phone to check the weather. More of the same, but it looked like it was going to let up late at night according to the forecast. “It can’t rain forever, right?” she said, a nervous sound bubbling up in her throat. 

 

“Are you worried it will be loud again?” he asked, not looking away. 

 

“A little. I’m more concerned for you. You’re supposed to be on a trip, right? I feel like it’s my fault you didn’t make your flight. If I hadn’t asked you to come with me…” 

 

Hikari pressed a hand gently to the side of her head, wincing almost imperceptibly. Her delicate finger curled through the handle of the cup, taking a sip before replacing it, her hand trembling slightly. 

 

“No, don’t worry about it. I showed up right? I can still take pictures even here, and I admit, it’s been nice getting to know you.” he finally looked back, frowning slightly. “Hikari, are you alright?” 

 

“It hurts a little. Sometimes I get headaches, but it’s fine, it’s fine.” she assured him, her expression cheerful, countering her words. 

 

It was rare to see someone who could be happy in a situation like hers, much less be so content even in pain. Her eyes held a sorrow that was deep, but not like this, her eyes glimmered in a way that made even her hurts look lovely. That was odd. Even Rika’s suffering made him upset, hers, hers seemed to make her more than what she was. At least artistically, it was a moving sight, and yet he couldn’t put such things to words, certainly she would take it the wrong way. There might not even be a right way to say ‘your pain is beautiful’. Instead, he reached for his phone, signing into the messenger long enough to send a few messages before he put it down again. 

 

“I’ve set the party date. One week, what do you think?” he asked her. 

 

“A week...I’m afraid I won’t be able to do as much as I wanted if it’s so soon. Though I will do my best!” she said confidently. 

 

“You’ll do just fine. No matter what happens, I won’t be disappointed.” he told her. “Well, how about this then? Since it looks like my trip won’t happen after all, why don’t we make this my new trip. I enjoyed the aquarium and the garden, and as long as I’m not imposing, I’d like to spend more time with you. I know very well you should be at the apartment, but as long as your phone is on you, it should be alright.” 

 

Truthfully, while she did like the apartment, and had found the time away from work to be refreshing, it had been quite lonely, knowing that no one could visit, no one could know she was there, like in those four walls, she ceased to exist. He was nice to her, and he had made the lonely feelings vanish just by talking to her. “If that’s alright with you, I’d really like that. If you’d rather stay here, I can make arrangements with my aunt, it should be alright.” 

 

He set his tray aside, finishing the last of his breakfast while he listened to her. “If it’s fine with her, but I also don’t want to make trouble for you, I can help with some of the work.” 

 

She waved her hands again. “No, no, I can’t ask that of you! You’re supposed to be on a trip, shouldn’t this be like a vacation for you?” 

 

“I should at least do something while I still can.” he sighed quietly. 

 

She flinched at his words, her eyes drawn to his glasses, a hand coming up slowly, but falling away as he was growing used to. She was shy, he knew that much, but he had a feeling he had finally realized what was on her mind. He reached for her hands, gently pulling them towards his face. “Go ahead, if you’re curious.” 

 

She bit her lip, worried about offending him, though his countenance was still pleasant, like it hadn’t crossed his mind. Hikari eased them away from his face, amazed when his eyes came into view. A vivid shade she couldn’t say she had ever seen before, it was hard to look away from, and the longer she looked, the harder it was becoming. 

 

“What is it that made you want to see? I’m not completely blind yet, though I will be soon, if that was the curiosity. Ah...Hikari, if you could...let me tell the others on my own time, please?” he said, like an afterthought. 

 

“I won’t say a word.” she swore. “It...I wanted to see your eyes, what they looked like. I mean the color, what it felt like to actually see you looking at me...is that bad?” 

 

Honestly, that  _ someone _ knew made him feel a little lighter inside, like some of the weight of his sins had lessened. Yet, it was strange, he had been careful about it since Rika...since the injury, anyway. It felt different, looking directly into her eyes, instead of through the lenses of his glasses. Almost like he was seeing her for the first time. She was absolutely right, she was softer than the sun, looking at her like this was like watching the moon glowing in the sky. That reminded him of something they had discussed before. Reaching for her hand, he grinned, her skin reddening almost instantly. 

  
  


“Not bad, no. On a different topic, your birthday is in three days, is it not? Since we’ve already decided to spend a few more days together, it’s only right to you that we do something to celebrate. What would you like to do?” he wondered. 

 

Who could say if it was even possible? It would be much safer to stay inside, but being too cautious would only make her sad, and maybe she’d pick something that might make it easier to blend in. Whatever it was, he had already offered, and taking that back wouldn’t be fair, an unnecessary tease. 

 

She curled her other hand to her chest, like she was making a desperate wish, only he was sure it was more like she was asking her heart for the answer. Finally, she met his gaze once more, her eyes crinkling in the corners with a wide grin. “I’ve always wanted to see the ocean…” 

 

A girl who lived so close to it had never had an occasion to go? Well, if the weather let up by then, it might be fine, not more than a short trip to get there, and while it was a little strange to go, considering the story he had given the others about Rika’s suicide, going with her might make it a little less unpleasant. 

 

“Very well, if that’s what you want, I’ll make it happen. If you don’t mind leaving the planning to me, I’ll try to make sure it’s a birthday worth remembering.” he said. 

 

“Please, don’t go through too much trouble for someone like me. Even if it’s just a normal day, I’m happy I’ll spend it with you.” she sighed. 

 

She looked away nervously, as if realizing how it sounded. “Ah! No, I mean...ugh...I…” 

 

“I understand what you mean. Try not to worry about me so much, alright? I may not be able to talk about everything, but I’m not bothered by you.” he laughed softly. 

 

_ Why do you look so pleased? Don’t look like that for me…  _ she thought. 

 

Her hand came up to her head again, closing her eyes as if to better endure it. “I should see if there’s any medicine in the house. I’ll come back soon…” she mumbled. 

 

V let go of her hand, shaking his head, reaching for his glasses again. “Allow me. Michi, right? I should ask for medicine for your head?” 

 

Her eyebrows lowered like she was troubled by his concern, but she relented this time. “Yes, Michi is her name, she’ll worry though, please tell her it’s only a headache. I would tell her if it was serious…” 

 

Reaching for his cane, he headed for the door, glancing back over his shoulder. “I’ll return shortly, please rest easy.” 


	5. Distanced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> V gains a deeper insight into Hikari, and feels like instead of getting closer, she's pulling away from him, and more surprising, that it actually bothers him.

_ “Bring this to her. She’ll fall asleep soon. When she does, come back and talk with me.”   _ the woman had said. 

 

He couldn’t deny that he was concerned what she might have to say, but he thought he should at least hear her out. He returned with the medicine, holding a light conversation with Hikari until her eyes closed, falling asleep in her chair. It hardly looked comfortable, but he didn’t really want to risk making matters worse by moving her, instead opting to carefully wedge a pillow behind her head, draping a blanket around her. He left as quietly as he could, taking a seat across from her aunt, cautiously accepting the tea she offered. 

 

“Is she looking any better?” she wondered. 

 

“A little. Still seems pale, but she fell asleep easily…” he admitted. 

 

“ _ Shuichi _ ” she began, her tone indicating she didn’t really believe that was his name. “How much has she told you, anyway?” 

 

“I couldn’t presume to say I know a lot about her, but she explained how she came to live here, anyway.” he said. 

 

Michi sat stiffly, like there was no time to relax, taking a brief sip of her tea before she spoke again. “There’s a lot she doesn’t even know. Her mother, Nari, she was a jewel of a woman. Korean, so I admit, the rest of the family might have felt cold and distant to her. Katsuo was devastated when she died, and he couldn’t process it right. You probably know at least that much, but Hiki has always blamed herself, in the same way he blamed her. She wears her happiness even as she’s miserable about herself. He was a thug, aspired to be Yakuza, so the family disowned him until he was willing to clean up his act. He met Nari, and he really changed. We thought it was a blessing, but...he just went cold after she passed. Hikari had nothing to do with it. She doesn’t have a mean bone in her body, though...my son, her cousin, Nori, before he went back home, he made sure she at least knows how to stand up for herself. So...you shouldn’t worry for her too much, she’s a capable girl, with a good heart, and she overthinks things, but you couldn’t have anyone better on your side.” 

 

V took a drink, eyebrows drawn together in confusion, though he listened politely to her words, nodding on occasion. When she stopped, he stared into the swirling tea, thinking it over. “Why tell me these things though?” 

 

Michi covered her mouth, laughing quietly. Sliding a book across the table, she gestured to him. “You might find this enjoyable. If you find you can’t sleep, why not give it a read?” she stopped to look out the window, the rain still heavy, though it looked like it was gradually slowing. “Hikari has never brought anyone here. Friend, or otherwise, she just doesn’t do it. It’s like this is her safe place. I may not know you enough to trust you, but it’s clear to me that she cares a great deal for you.” 

 

He waved a hand in denial, smiling despite that. “Ah, no, you must be mistaken. She told me she wanted to make up for our day trip getting ruined.” 

 

“Our country is filled with people who for whatever their reasoning, aren’t very direct with their feelings. If you thought she would simply tell you she likes you, then there’s much for you to learn. It’s quite likely that since she brought you here specifically, she already  _ has _ told you her feelings, you might just not realize it yet.” she rose from her seat. “Give that book a read, seriously. I have no doubt you’ll understand better this way.” Bowing deeply, she turned to leave. “I must get back to work. Please think over what I’ve told you.” 

 

Finishing his tea, he sighed, reaching for the book on his way back to the room. Being as quiet as possible, he took a seat on the edge of the bed, opening the book. It was thankfully a translation, one that made it easier to understand than if he had tried to read it naturally. He looked up every few pages to check on her, still sound asleep, the meaning behind the strange conversation still nagging at him. It was like he was replaying every conversation they had had since they met, trying to figure out when and if she had said anything about her feelings towards him, and if so, what it was she said. Surprisingly, he had managed to finish a good portion of the book before she began to stir. She sat upright quickly, glancing around, nearly startled when she noticed the time. 

 

“Oh...I’m so sorry, I fell asleep…” she mumbled, glancing over to him. “Jihyun, did you get a book?” 

 

Her eyes fell on the cover, cheeks flushing deeply. That was classic literature, from a bygone era, one she had chanced to read on exactly two occasions, the words fixed in her mind. He smiled gently at her, slipping a small piece of paper in to mark his page before closing it. 

 

“Don’t be sorry, you needed your rest. Your aunt lent it to me, so I thought I’d read while you slept.” he explained. 

 

Hikari was quick to hide her face, and yet he couldn’t understand her embarrassment. Seeing how curiously she reacted, he raised an eyebrow questioningly. She muttered out a nervous response. “Ah...you...you saw my sleeping face…” 

 

That was all it was? He held back the laugh threatening to bubble out, confirming her words with a slight nod. “I did. You looked very cute.” 

 

Not that there wasn’t a bit of truth to it, she really was, but it was more out of desire to see just how red her cheeks could get. Still mulling it over in his mind, he wondered if that was what her aunt had been referring to? She had been awfully shy around him, he supposed it could be a sign that she liked him, but that was just a guess, and he didn’t want to think about it in uncertain terms. He was still debating in his mind before he realized he had actually said what he had been thinking about. 

 

“Why don’t you bring others here?” he asked. 

 

Hikari quickly looked away, suddenly interested in the wall at her side, idly rubbing her index finger in a slow circle against it, seemingly conflicted as to whether or not to answer the question. Eventually, she took a short breath, exhaling slowly, her brilliant eyes closing. 

 

“There’s a lot of reasons. I didn’t want to be a burden. I didn’t want to bring people here, because this is also...my safe place. I feel most comfortable here, and bringing others here felt like I’d be sharing that. Sharing myself with someone means trust, and I don’t usually trust so easily.” she explained, though her expression became a bit awkward as she did. 

 

He quietly folded his hands around his knee, his leg resting across his lap. “So...if that’s the case, why did you choose to bring me? There are other inns in this area, are there not?” 

 

Hikari opened her eyes, widened nervously as she cast her glance in his direction, her tongue poking out slightly to sweep along her lower lip. That was a new look, he hadn’t quite seen her this unsettled. 

 

“Isn’t it obvious? I already said I trust you. I can’t even say if there’s a reason for it, logically, I shouldn’t, right? I just...can’t help it, it’s a deeply set feeling, I just know you won’t hurt me.” 

 

Her fingers briefly grazed the side of her head, the most delicate touch, like she wasn’t touching a sturdy thing, but rather the dainty petals of a frail flower. When she stopped, her hands came to rest on her thighs, taking a deeper breath, unable to maintain the eye contact, like she was waiting for some kind of response. 

 

“You know I’m keeping secrets from you. From even my oldest friend, actually, from everyone. Yet you place your faith in me, and you don’t pry for answers. You’re...truly unusual, Hikari. I like it.” he said. 

 

“I’m unlike any other person. That’s probably a good thing.” she covered her mouth, laughing quietly. “As for the secrets, I have to accept that the reason is good, and that you’ll tell me if you think it’s safe.” 

 

“That...isn’t wrong. The reason is in my opinion, very good. If it’s ever safe enough, I intend to tell everyone, including you. For now, I’m content to get to know you better.” he told her. 

 

She shook her head in a slow, easy negative, rising to stand. “You shouldn’t want that. Unlike you, I always hurt those around me. I’ll only bring you misery and pain, even if that’s not what I want. My hands are cursed to make others suffer. On that note, I should make some tea. Or perhaps you’d prefer a hot bath? Unless you like showers better…” 

 

Thanks to Michi’s explanation, he felt reasonably comfortable in assuming this was her being miserable about herself as the woman had said. Unbelievable that anyone could be alright with purposefully damaging such an intriguing girl, there was nothing in this world worth such a vicious and unwarranted attack. Even so, as her aunt had said, she was still smiling even as she said such things. He didn’t want to cause her any extra stress, especially for his sake, though it was likely an attempt to change the subject to one she was at ease with. He probably could use a bath, now that she had mentioned it. 

 

“I don’t mind showers, but in truth, I’d prefer a bath...I’m sorry to trouble you.” he said. 

 

She waved her hand as if to tell him it was no trouble, disappearing in the bathroom for a time, before returning with a courteous, if too formal and distant bow. “It’s ready for you. Please enjoy your bath.” 

 

He passed her as he entered the bathroom, watching her as he slowly closed the door, and for a moment it felt like she was disappearing from his life. It actually caused him pain, and the frustrating thing was that he knew exactly why now, but he still wasn’t ready to accept that. Still though, she was tied to the RFA now, and he knew she couldn’t leave easily, but more than that, he didn’t want to think of a life without her in it, that smile of hers was like the cure to the poisonous taint in his heart. Part of him wanted to open the door again to make sure she was, in fact, still there, but he resisted, instead heading for the bath like he originally intended.  


	6. One More Step

Hikari looked around the room when she woke the next morning, unsurprised to see that Jihyun was nowhere to be found. It stung a little bit, but at the same time, it was for the best, she warned him for a reason after all, and he couldn’t simply stick around like a babysitter. It was selfish to expect something like that, not just of him, but anyone really. The sun was shining brightly and hot just outside, the glare filtering through the window, so it wasn’t like she couldn’t just catch the bus back to the other side of the city to the apartment. She started to gather up her things, organizing them on the dresser, about to go see if breakfast was done, opening the door, surprised to see him standing there, awkwardly holding a tray, his expression a little uncertain. Quickly moving from the door, he stepped in, setting it down on the table with a sigh a relief. She closed the door quickly, maintaining her distance, staring at the floor for a moment. 

 

“Good morning, Hikari.” he greeted her, glancing to the dresser. “Ah...were you worried I left?” 

 

Her cheeks puffed out, her breath hissing slowly, trying to decide how to answer that question. “I was...relieved. I thought you finally took my warnings seriously. If I’m being completely honest though...I was a bit sad too.” 

 

V crossed the room, reaching for her hand, leading her back to the table, pulling out a chair for her. “That’s really sweet. Anyway, I thought maybe I said something bad, and I wanted to make up for it somehow. Your aunt told me this is what you like best, so...I’m not actually sure how it tastes, but I tried…” 

 

Without trying it, she couldn’t be sure either, but on presentation only, it looked really good, and the smell made her stomach growl. He smiled, watching her shift nervously like she was trying to ignore it, nodding to the cup next to it. “Green tea, right? That’s your favorite?” 

 

Hikari covered her face with both hands, giving a slight nod. “Mhm...I’m...really impressed, actually. I don’t understand why you cared enough about something so silly, but thank you.” her words muffled in her sleeves. “I...wasn’t mad at you or anything. I...no, I guess it’s probably better not to explain.” 

 

He had finished the book, and he was fairly certain he really was beginning to understand her better, that and the explanation Michi had given about how she, like others from her country weren’t very direct with their feelings, he thought he had pieced it together almost completely too, and while he wanted to hear it directly, he didn’t mind respecting her view on the matter. Reaching for her hands, he slowly pulled them away, canting his head, his warm smile becoming more of a lopsided grin. 

 

“I won’t push, but at least let me see you like this. I want to remember this face you make when I can’t see anymore.” he said, no hint of a joke in his words. 

 

“Do you always talk like this, or am I just lucky?” she wondered thoughtfully, playing it off. 

 

Eager to distract from the topic, she cut into the waffles he made, taking a cautious bite. Even though he said he wasn’t sure how it might taste, they were well made, her mouth celebrating, well disguised in her face, afraid if she didn’t control it, she’d only look like too much of a kid about such a simple thing. “These are really good…” she sighed. “Ah...by the way. Does...it bother you, calling you Jihyun instead of V?” 

 

He shook his head. “I don’t mind. It’s like music when you say it, I’m happier to hear it from you.” his fingers curled in front of his mouth, a soft chuckle hushed by it. “Except, don’t you mean Shuichi?” 

 

“Oh! You’re right. I should be more careful.” she agreed. 

 

Falling silent, she diverted her eye contact, focusing on her breakfast, unable to resist feeling a little strange. Even thinking someone was watching her eat felt strange, and she wasn’t sure what to do about it, unsure if he even was watching her at all. 

 

“I gave it some more thought. You said you wanted to go to the beach tomorrow, so I did what planning I could today. The rest, you’ll just have to wait for tomorrow. I’m sorry that you have only me to celebrate with you, but I think next year, the other RFA members will help as well, we’ll make it really nice.” he told her. 

 

Finishing up, she moved to clear the table, but he slid his hand under hers, quickly bringing the dishes across the table. “I’ll take care of this. I don’t want to let you do everything.” 

 

Her lips parted like she was about to say something, but he took them before she could, carefully balancing the tray in one arm, walking out too fast for her to formulate any kind of response, let alone an argument. 

 

\----

Something was definitely strange. He wasn’t even supposed to be here still, and yet it seemed he was making use of his supposed absence. Something was going on, and he worried. They had yet to track them down, and Hikari continuing her work from here left that one completely sure she was still at the apartment. It wouldn’t be long before he tried to make a move to steal her away from the RFA. What was he supposed to do about this? He couldn’t exactly tell Hikari, not yet, but he couldn’t let her return when it wasn’t safe, and he had no conclusive proof of what they were planning. Then again, Seven could keep a secret better than just about anyone…

 

Checking his phone, he was satisfied with the safety, bringing up his texts. He entered the number, his fingers dancing rapidly across the screen, not taking the usual care he did to compose a good message, in this case, it might have had errors, but in this situation it didn’t matter much. 

 

“I’m back. Keep an eye on the apartment, there might be a problem. I’ll return her when it’s safe enough, I’ll watch from this end.” he sent. 

 

He had no time to even lower the phone, the reply coming in quickly. “You’re with Hikari? I didn’t see you on the security cameras. Didn’t see her leave either. I’ll watch anyway.” 

 

“She’ll be safe here for now. Trust me. If anything strange happens, you know what to do.” he sent back. 

Pocketing his phone, he slowly returned to the room. Everyone in the group was like family, and he loved them all, and maybe it had everything to do with spending so much time with her lately, but it really felt different. No...he still couldn’t say with absolute certainty what this was, he had some idea of how to figure it out, and yet, if it backfired, it really would push her further away, maybe irreparably so. Even so, his heart was racing like he had run a marathon  without stopping, his veins pulsing with intense energy. He placed his hand on the door, taking a deep breath, exhaling in a heavy, troubled sigh before he came back into the room, closing the door behind him. It seemed like he shouldn’t put it off any longer, his head and his heart needed some kind of hint. 

 

“You’re back.” she acknowledged with a soft smile. 

 

“So I am...Hikari...can you come here for a moment?” he asked quietly. 

 

Without questioning his reasoning, she stood slowly, walking over to him. Still, even though she did as he asked without a word, he could see her nervousness in her steps, it was the very image of someone who suspected they were in trouble and were hesitantly approaching their punishment. Stopping just in front of him, he leaned his cane against the wall, removing his glasses slowly, slipping them on the collar of his shirt. Taking the two steps it took to get to her, he reached out, his hands resting on her shoulders, bringing her against him. He gently embraced her, her hands stopping flat against his back, though her hands trembled mildly. She was warm, much like he thought she would be, this close, he could feel her heart thumping against her chest, not nearly as fast as his, but noticeable. She tipped her head to look at him, her eyes filled with a curious sort of wonder, his gaze falling on her, staring into the playfully enchanting depths, his expression almost apologetic. 

 

“Forgive me…” he whispered. 

 

“For w--” she managed. 

 

He bent to her, kissing her. Like this, he noticed everything, the faint scent of perfume, made just a bit stronger with her quickening pulse, the softness of her lips, the taste of peach from the balm she wore, and the light sound of her breathing, her fingers curling, clenched in the thick folds of his shirt. She didn’t respond immediately, leaning into it after a short time had passed, her lips parting just a little. He took the opening, the tip of his tongue tracing her lower lip, delving in slowly, one hand raising to cup her cheek, his eyes closing with hers. She made a sound in her throat, and he pulled away slowly, his thumb caressing her gently, a smile tugging at her lips, a faint pink rising from all the way up to her ears. With just that, he knew he had his answer then, no more mystery. Knowing how he felt for her made matters a little more complex though, there was still the question of what to do about it, and if she had simply followed his lead, or if it was in her heart as well. 

 

“S...Shuichi? “ she began quietly. “That...was my first kiss.” 

 

He suspected as much, given what he had heard of her, it had the feeling like she had little desire to purposely get close to someone given her condition, but the kiss didn’t quite have the feel of someone who either didn’t or couldn’t love. On the contrary, it felt filled with things she was too shy to say, but he worried he misunderstood. 

 

“Was it alright?” he asked. 

 

A mischievous smile appeared on her face, tilting her head curiously to the side, her hair sweeping her shoulder as she did. “Umm...Well, I’m not sure. Maybe if we try again, I can tell you?” 

 

He leaned closer once more, bypassing her mouth for her ear, answering her in whispered words. “Is that so? Then, shall we see what happens?” 

 

God, he hadn’t ever seen this side of her, and it made things that much harder. She was interesting, and there hadn’t been a single thing he found unpleasant about her, save the ease in which she trusted. It wasn’t a big problem with him, but the wrong person could get her hurt, or worse. This might be trouble, and it was as if he could no longer separate himself from her, no matter how conflicted he was about the past. Trailing back to her mouth, he pressed a light kiss to her check, leaned against her, back to the wall, his hands resting on either side of her head, kissing her again, just a touch firmer, stealing away her breath with ease, a slight gasp his sign to stop. 

 

“Yeah...I like it.” she sighed, catching her breath. 

 

“Haha, well, that’s a start. I won’t ask any more until you’ve had some time to think.” he assured her. 

 

While it was important for her to sort out what she was feeling, it was also a little for himself as well, he had given himself a lot to think about too...


	7. Moonlit Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> V makes use of the setting to say what he needs to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh. My feelings on this are so mixed, I just can't be sure if I like it or not.

Thanks to the preparations he was working on for her, it had taken far longer to get ready to leave. He opened the door, Hikari standing in front of the mirror, looking far away, brushing a comb through her hair gently. She looked completely blank, and he was curious about the reasoning, but decided against asking for now. At the very least, she was very cute in the dress her aunt had left, but that too, felt a little bit bold of him to tell her out of the blue. 

 

“Hikari, the car is waiting out front. Are you ready to go?” he asked softly. 

 

Hearing his voice, she snapped out of her thoughts, a tranquil smile pulling at her lips. Nodding once, she braced herself against the door long enough to put her shoes on, accepting his offered hand. It was exciting, even if the day itself wasn’t typically a good one for her, that he would think enough of her to plan out the details and take her the one place she always wanted to see had her heart beating with excitement. He took a seat with her in the back of the cab, glancing at her again, staring out the window now, eyes cast up to the skies. 

 

“See anything interesting today?” he asked, trying to make her feel more at ease. 

 

Squinting slightly, she examined the clouds a little longer, shaking her head finally. “No, today they just look puffy, like cotton. Or...maybe like white cotton candy? Maybe I’m just not looking at them right.” 

 

“Are you nervous? Is it because of me, or is there something else on your mind?” he finally asked. 

 

Like she had been caught doing something she shouldn’t have, her focus turned to the back of the seat in front of her, twiddling her thumbs slowly. 

 

“Ahh...it’s not you. Is it? I feel like it’s a lot of things. I shouldn’t be like this. We’ve practically lived together for a bit now anyway. Why am I feeling so strange about going?” she sighed, her shifting thoughts revealed in her words. 

 

He rested a hand over his mouth, hiding his sudden grin from her. Granted, he could have been wrong, but it was entirely possible she was thinking of this less as a party for her birthday and more like a date. With just the two of them instead of many people, it would make sense to view it that way, and curiously, he didn’t mind if she  _ did _ think that. 

 

“You can think of this however you wish. I want you to always be happy today, for you, and for me.” he said quietly. 

 

The car coasted to a stop behind a small building, obscuring her view of the water. Normally, it wouldn’t be anything special, but he was glad for it, if only to help her build anticipation for the sight on the other side. V got out slowly, going to the back of the car to gather things from the trunk, all carefully concealed from her to ensure she would be as surprised as possible about it. He had planned to bring her here in the afternoon, the sun glinting off the water like scattered diamonds would have been memorable for her, as it was, the planning alone took much of the day, and their arrival delayed until evening. That was probably a contributing factor as to why she couldn’t make out shapes in the clouds, that and perhaps she was disappointed, thinking their plans had gotten canceled without warning. 

He shifted everything to one arm, gripping his cane tighter, holding his free arm to her for support, leaning in to speak privately with her. “Close your eyes. Trust me just a little more, I know you’ll like it better this way.” 

 

Her eyes slowly slid shut, grasping his arm firmly, allowing him to guide her unseeing steps, the sand shifting under her feet, surprising her at just how difficult it was to keep her balance. The sounds alone were fascinating, quick whooshes, followed by long, drawn out sighs, sounds she had never heard before, painting a vivid picture in her mind in an attempt to imagine the scene that could make such a peaceful sound. 

 

“Not yet. Just a little longer.” he murmured. 

 

He let go of her, setting everything down, spreading out a blanket to keep the sand from bothering them. When it was set out, he lowered her carefully to the ground, brushing her hair behind her ear, his thumb brushing her cheek slightly. 

 

“Can I look now?” she asked curiously. 

 

“Yes, it’s alright now.” he answered. 

 

He had a hunch it would be a reaction worth seeing, raising his camera in anticipation. Her eyes opened slowly, taking in the gentle waves in front of her, widening in near disbelief, beaming happily. Truly, she was awed, amazed by it, and without thinking, he snapped a picture, the second such time he hadn’t first asked if he could, though she didn’t seem to mind, her cheeks a soft pink, turning to glance at him. 

 

“Haha, you’re a strange one. This is in front of us, and you chose me?” she giggled. 

 

“The ocean is fine, but I want to be able to enjoy the faces you make as long as my eyes let me…” he admitted with a sigh. 

 

It stirred something inside her chest, echoing in her thoughts. She felt around in the pocket of her dress, reaching for her phone, staring at it intently. After a moment, she turned her attention back to him, nibbling her lip nervously. 

 

“If that’s true, then...is it okay for me to take yours? I’m not great with pictures, but...I think I could die happily if I could see your face until the end…” she said, smiling even as she said it. 

 

The thought of a world without her in it made him strangely cold, the chill in the air having nothing to do with it. She made everything a little less hard to deal with, and while he didn’t want to say anything to encourage her to give in so easily, if it really made her feel at peace, he could hardly refuse her request. Relaxing a bit, he gave a nod, watching as she quickly held it up, hesitating for a moment, something still on her mind about it. 

 

“Oh...hold a bit. I think I understand.” he mumbled. 

 

Dropping his head slightly, he removed his glasses, the sun darkened enough in the sky that it didn’t trouble him much. Night would arrive quickly tonight, it seemed, and with it, he imagined he had found a perfect opportunity to bring up what was most present in his mind, the reason for the book entirely clear to him now. Turning up to face her once more, he met her gaze, amused at the suddenly nervous look she wore, taking a deep breath to try and still her hands. She was taking this so seriously, it was charming in an unusual way, watching her fidget with a few things on the screen before he heard a soft click. How considerate of her, even with the lighting being less than ideal from her angle, she neglected the flash anyway. Her expression was hard to read, a single finger pressed to her lips, devoting her focus to the screen for a little longer before she set it down. 

 

“Thank you. Not just for the picture, but I mean...all of this. I’m already so overjoyed just to be here. To be honest, I’ve never been happy about my birthday, it’s always been such a lonely day for me. I...never really had friends, and I didn’t feel okay just asking the people I saw and chatted with from time to time…” she explained sadly. 

 

Wanting to distract her from those thoughts, he brought a basket into view, arranging wrapped packages beside it, shaking his head. 

 

“I truly wish I could say that this is just the beginning, that every birthday from now on will be special for you, but I know that wouldn’t be much comfort after all…” he sighed. 

 

Mostly it was because he was fairly sure he wouldn’t last much longer either, but also considering how realistic she tried to be about her remaining time. It wouldn’t be so bad if he could somehow convince her to have it taken care of, but that was asking so much of her. He watched with fascination as she reached for the presents, being completely careful about how she unwrapped them, trying hard not to tear the paper, first, opening all of them before she even lifted the wrapping away to see what she had received. An odd way of going about things. Even Rika had been the type to rip it away and see immediately what was there, a reminder that this girl, wait, not just a girl, Hikari. Hikari was so different in ways he felt a little regret in appreciating. It had been hard to realize that Rika was not the only one he could feel anything for. 

 

Her expression went through several stages of amazement at the mostly simple gifts, a new hairpin, peach lip gloss, a pair of cherry blossom-themed earrings, all things that hardly required thought. It wasn’t until she reached the last that she looked most amazed, verging on tears, her fingers lovingly touching the frame, gazing at him in a way that was entirely new to him. It had been hard to get it on such short notice, and of course, it was only a print, he selfishly wanted to keep the original, safe in his camera, but for her, he wanted her to see herself and value herself the way he did. 

 

“This is...from the aquarium, isn’t it? I have...no idea what to say, I’m very thankful for this, even if it’s only me, I am so glad I get to see more of your art like this…” she cooed happily. 

 

V had wanted to make sure he had everything she enjoyed at her disposal, but Michi had insisted on making a late dinner for her, instead, packing up some light snacks and a sweet drink that was said to be mild enough even for those who couldn’t handle it. It wasn’t quite time yet, though the sun was finally set, stars visible in the sky, in small quantities. Hikari meticulously arranged her treasures safely at the side, stretching across the blanket, staring up at the sky. She looked more content than he was sure he had seen from her before, more at ease around him, too. Mirroring her, he stretched close, just enough for their hair to brush slightly, side by side. Her hand stretched up, forming an invisible line between the stars, Her silence was welcome, just this once, enough to allow his thoughts to flow easily, lending careful consideration to what he intended to say to her, one final chance to think about if it was the right thing to say, if it was really how he felt, and if he could abandon his guilt. Hikari let a quiet sigh escape, drawing a circle around the moon when it had appeared. 

 

No better time than the present, he decided. Slowly moving to sit up, he turned to face her, hovering over her, trying to be unobtrusive. Her eyes closed, charming crescent moons of their own, almost ear to ear in a full grin. 

 

“Oh, that was sudden. It’s alright, I like looking at you too!” she joked. 

 

“Hikari…” he sighed, that one word said so seriously. 

 

She sat up, propped on her hands, moonbeams dancing across her hair, over her skin, giving her an almost ethereal glow, and for the first time he could truly understand what she meant about wishing she was the moon more than the sun. It was like she was made of pure magic in that instant. 

 

“Jihyun?” she spoke his name as a question. 

 

He chuckled quietly, drawing her to his side, his eyes flicking to the sky, leaned in to her ear, speaking gently. God, he hoped she really understood, if he had failed in that, there was no way this could go well at all, but he had to try. 

 

“The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?” he whispered. 

 

She tensed briefly at his words, her eyes wide with apprehension, though it melted quickly. 

 

“It really is…” she said, biting her lip. Her voice drifted off, like sleep pulling away the weary, a soft lilt in her words. “I want to spend my days watching it with you.” 

 

It was much more subtle than he was used to, and yet, he finally had his answer. She understood perfectly, moreover, she reciprocated his feelings after all. As if he couldn’t handle it a second longer, he brought a finger to her chin, lifting her to look at him properly, bending in to kiss her, intending it to be gentle and brief, though he couldn’t pull back from her. There had been a lingering emptiness in his heart, and just this alone had been enough to feel like it was filling, an image he didn’t mind. Filled with her, with love for Hikari, it wasn’t a bad thing to feel like this. Behind that though, there was dread, a fear of what might happen if everything came undone. What if they really were caught, if something happened to her? What would she feel if something happened to him? He wanted to maintain hope that if he held out longer, he might find a safe way out, a way to be with her. Managing to break the kiss, he frowned, pressing a kiss to her forehead. 

 

“Promise me. Let’s stay safe until the party. I think...if I can have any sort of future with you, I need to discuss everything with you. Jumin and Luciel will need to know too...I’d still like to avoid telling the others, but...will you stay beside me, even when it’s all out?” he asked. 

Her hand came to rest on his cheek, nodding slowly. “I swear, with whatever life is left in me, I won’t abandon you. You are...the first person I’ve felt this for, and I promise, you’ll be the last...no matter what, I won’t give up.” 

 

God, her words were the sweetest thing he had heard in so long. He was being greedy, and he was aware of that, but it didn’t change his thoughts on the matter, he wanted everything she had, including more time with her. He wouldn’t have that if he couldn’t convince her, and he would do his best to persuade her, he still had a few days to change her mind on the matter. He wanted to be selfish with her, a feeling so unlike him that it was startling in a way. 

 

“Hikari...I have one last request. I shouldn’t ask anything of you on your special day, but I want you to...stay with me tonight. I want to know what it’s like to sleep holding you. I won’t go any further, you can trust me.” he sighed. 

 

Her eyes gave away her thoughts, even before her words did, but he wanted to hear her more, to savor the sound of her voice just a little longer. “You’ve never? I thought they said you were thinking of marrying Rika, but you’ve never?” 

 

He shook his head, a wry smile pulling at his lips. “I wanted to. We meant to get married, but because of her deep faith, we hadn’t discussed that far, we never shared a bed even just to sleep. I thought she was too pure, too bright, but…” he trailed off. 

 

“She was very important to you. I can tell she still is, that’s alright too. It’s not easy to forget feelings buried in your heart.” she murmured thoughtfully. 

 

“Is there someone like that in yours?” he wondered. 

 

It stung a little to think she might have someone on her mind like that all the time, even before he met her, but it was natural, he couldn’t be everything to her right off, things like this took time to develop, things wouldn’t change overnight, not for him and not for her either. 

 

“No. I’ve never had feelings that strongly nestled in love like yours. Mine...have always been in pain, in the old hurts. It’s just easier to smile than to draw people into that misery, it makes it easier to shuffle past it little by little.” she sighed. 

 

V shook his head, he didn’t want to taint her enjoyment by bringing up past love and suffering and ruin the mood they had created together. He opened the basket, pouring her a drink, before getting one prepared for himself, taking a slow breath, the salty sea air soothing. 

 

“Let’s stay a little longer, then we’ll go back. Your aunt will worry if we’re not there for what she’s preparing for you.” he said with a light laugh. 

 

“I had a feeling she was plotting something… Did she know what was going on? I feel like she knew. If not, she would have insisted on coming with…” she questioned. 

 

V gave a shrug, taking a sip while he considered what to say. “I’m not sure. She didn’t say anything directly, but I have a suspicion she knew this might happen. She’s a dangerously perceptive woman.” 

“You really haven’t cracked the surface. She’s not just perceptive, I’m pretty sure she’s psychic, I swear, nothing gets past her, she knows everything, sometimes before others do. I wish I knew how she does it.” she said. 

 

When she set her glass down, he slid an arm around her shoulder, staring at her for a moment, making sure she wasn’t uncomfortable with it. Honestly, he wasn’t really confident about his pacing. Things seemed to go quickly with Rika, and in the absence of her affection, he had gotten too used to the lack of contact, and now, he had to relearn what was just enough, a prospect which frightened him a little...


	8. Unexpected News

V woke up early the next morning, the sheets still warm on the opposite side of the bed. Proof in his mind, that she had certainly been there, although she was nowhere to be seen in the room. He stifled a laugh in his palm, recalling how awkwardly things had gone when they turned in for the night. She had paced the edge of the bed nervously, sitting for only a few seconds before standing again and returning to shuffling. Even as he reassured her he had no intentions of doing anything unusual with her, it seemed to do little to ease her mind. Eventually, she managed to sit without getting back up, but even then, she had trouble deciding how to approach it. He reached over and pulled her into his arms finally, and she had settled fairly quickly. At the end, she found it more comfortable to keep her back to him, face to face had been far too embarrassing for her. Such an innocent thing had left her face completely pink, a reminder that she was truly a pure thing. She reminded him of the first blooms of spring, delicate as well as lovely.

 

The door opened, and he could hear her slow steps, and the fine tinkling of dishes rattling on the tray. So that was where she had disappeared to, it was hard to understand how she kept pace so well with her aunt’s steady work for her as well as the RFA. Somehow, she managed, without any hint that it was troubling her. He got the impression it was more stressful than she was willing to concede, that smile on her face concealing even the most subtle of signs. Hikari placed the tray at the table, gesturing to the chair opposite where she was standing. 

 

“I brought breakfast, are you hungry?” she asked gently. 

 

He hadn’t really thought of it, but now that she mentioned it, he could eat. It wasn’t particularly a strong hunger, but it was still important to have at least that. Moving from the bed, he crossed the room, stopping short of sitting down, a troubled expression on his face. Her head tipped slowly, unsure if she should ask what was on his mind, or if it wasn’t something he wanted to talk about. Sighing, his thumb brushed across her chin, leaning in slightly, though he pulled away. Hikari understood without him saying then, he was holding back, trying to respect her, a guess based on how he acted normally. She focused on her fingertips briefly, gathering her courage up. It should have been less strange by now, it wasn’t like this would be their first kiss, and yet, she had never been the one to initiate it. Her hand rose slowly, reaching for his, stopping him from moving away again before she lost her nerve. She pushed herself to her toes, rising up as much as she could, though he was just a bit too tall to reach still. 

 

“Hikari…” he murmured, an amused tone to his voice. 

 

His arm folded around her waist, keeping her steady. Closing the distance she was missing, he halted near her lips, it was her idea to take action. She was trying, and he couldn’t very well take that away from her. She held his shoulder for support, a determined look in her eyes, matching her approach. At the last moment, she held back, a gentle, innocent peck on the lips being all she could muster. Even gently pressed together like this, he could feel her heart hammering against her chest, realizing such a light kiss was enough to provoke a reaction. Grinning slightly, he captured her lips once more, longer this time, but a littler firmer. Pulling back, he slowly let her go, taking a seat finally, watching her for a moment more before she took sat. Her tongue poked out, nervously wetting her lips, her palms pressed to her cheeks, reminding him that part of the reason he started to feel for her in the first place was the way she reacted so honestly to everything. 

“Ahh...hmm…”she mumbled, trying to think of what to say. “Oh! Right, good morning.” 

 

He couldn’t suppress a chuckle that time, though it left her a bit flustered. “Of course, good morning.” Pausing long enough to pour a cup of tea, he slid it across to her. “Was it too early in the day for sugar?” 

 

Burying her face in her sleeves at his teasing, he expected her to immediately agree that it was. It was a bit of a surprise to see the slight way she shook her head, perhaps her not-quite straightforward way of saying she actually enjoyed it. When she finally dropped her hands, her finger traced slow circles on the table, unable to meet his gaze again. 

 

“Was it...what you expected it would be like?” she asked quietly. 

 

It took him a moment to realize she was referring to sleeping beside her. It was fairest to say it was nothing like he thought it might be, although that would definitely come across as negative, which it wasn’t. He had no reasonable guess as to what it might be like, and the feeble image he had formed in his mind didn’t compare at all, as it should be. Yet that too seemed far too forward to say to her. 

 

“It was pleasant. You’re warm, although you switched your shampoo, didn’t you? I had a difficult time figuring out why you went with lavender suddenly. Am I correct in guessing it was...to help me sleep?” he asked curiously. 

 

Hikari didn’t answer right away, nodding slowly in reply. It was like she was trying to decide on a response, a knock on the door preventing her from answering. The door opened, and her aunt held out a cordless phone, not looking in. 

 

“Hikari? Someone is calling for you, says they’re a friend of yours?” she said curiously. 

 

She bobbed her head politely to excuse herself, rushing over to take it from her. “Thank you, I’ll return it shortly.” 

 

The door closed again, the steps leading away slowly. Her brow furrowed, unsure who could be calling for her here, and especially someone claiming to be a friend. 

 

“Hello?” she asked quietly. 

 

“Hikari? This is Seven. I know you probably have questions, but I can’t answer them right now. V, is he there with you?” he questioned.

 

His tone was unexpectedly serious, and while he was right about her having questions, she thought better of asking them anyway. “Uh...um...yes, he’s here.” 

 

Her eyes fell on him, not quite sure if she was supposed to admit that or not. “Can you please hand the phone to him, it’s very important.” 

 

Without a word, she walked back, holding it out for him. He took it, quietly speaking with him in a way that told her she shouldn’t be listening. Instead, she ducked into the bathroom, distracting herself with trying to fix her hair. How did he know that they were there? More importantly, how did he know that they were there together? If it was just to chat, surely he would have just tried to call his phone directly, unless...it was possible there was a reason he couldn’t call it. There was no point in overthinking it, but at the same time, it left an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach, hanging her head as if the weight of her thoughts made it impossible to hold up a second longer. It wasn’t like he wouldn’t tell her what was safe for her to know, but waiting to know was so unnerving. Without any idea of how long had gone by, there was a quiet knock on the door, calling her back out. He embraced her immediately when she came out, squeezing her gently, so unlike him, but it worked to calm her nerves. 

 

“I brought the phone back for you. I wish I could say it was good news…” he sighed. 

 

Sensing his tension, she snuck a quick kiss to his cheek in the hopes it might help somehow. “Whatever it is, I can handle it with you, Jihyun…” 

 

The soft way she said his name made him smile, despite what he had to tell her. “Listen, your phone, and mine. Don’t answer any texts or calls on it. The emails should still be secured, and I hate to tell you not to talk to anyone but…” he took a deep breath. “I meant to return you to the apartment soon enough, but it sounds like the one who is responsible for your arrival has managed to get into our phones. Likely my absence has drawn suspicion. Luciel says that someone is presently trying to break the apartment security. I hope you don’t mind, but I felt compelled to tell him that I...we...are together. He already knew we were together in the same place, but...you know. It’s a security risk, if nothing else. Though...as much as I wanted to get you back to a familiar place, I can’t now. He says we need to stick together. Until the party, we should try not to go outside as much as possible, there’s a greater chance we’ll be found if we leave unnecessarily.” 

 

Hikari wasn’t quite used to such open honesty when she had known from the start that there were secrets. Those didn’t trouble her so much, knowing they were in place for a reason, though it was a lot to take in. More than anything, she had no idea what reason anyone would have for targeting her in the first place, let alone what that person might want with her now. She was nobody, a slowly dying girl who wasn’t special in any remarkable way that could appeal to someone like that. Stranger still was having such a deeply set trust in someone she hadn’t known long, regardless of her feelings for him. 

 

“If you say it’s safest this way, I believe you.” she admitted quietly. She buried her face in his chest, a slight tremble the only sign she was even a little shaken by it. “What happens if we’re caught?” 

 

He sighed, eyeing the bed for a moment. Leading her over to it, he sat with her. It would be best for her to be comfortable, he didn’t intend to explain things this quickly, but now that it had come to it, it might be the only chance he’d get after all. 

  
  



End file.
